“Who do ya think ya are doing this to my Saloon?!” the bartender yelled at me.
“I reckon that I had to exercise my rights.” I said relatively calmly.
“Well ya reckoned wrong! Look at what you did.”
I turned around to see dozens of men laying on the ground, either unconscious or dead. I wasn’t sure.
“They shouldn’t have messed with me. I mean I was only mindin my own business and they started shoutin and one even pushed me.” I said.
“That didn’t mean that you had to start shootin.”
At this time the sheriff pushed through the doors.
“Who is it that I’m gonna have to lock up.” the sheriff said.
“This man here is the man that you should lock up.” the bartender said pointing at me.
“At least hear my side of the story.” I said, “I walked in here planning on getting a drink and forgetting about my day when these simpletons decided to start somethin with me so I fought back. One even had the gall to push me.”
“And that’s why you started shootin the life out of these poor souls?” the sheriff asked.
“No, that’s when they started shootin at me. After I knocked some of their friends out, they got scared and pulled out there guns and so I kicked up my table and used it as a shield from some of their bullets and I shot back.” I said pointing at the table that was sideways and reminded me of Swiss cheese.
“And what’s your side of the story then barkeep? Reckon we jail this outlaw or let him free?”
“I think he should pay me for all these damages he caused me, or go to jail.”
“I don’t have that kind of money though. It wasn’t even my fault that they started the whole thing so I don’t think I should have to pay.”
“Okay, okay. I see what’s going on.” the sheriff thought for a moment, “maybe you two should take this down to court and get this settled.”
“But isn’t that a three days ride to the courthouse?” I asked.
“That it is.” said the sheriff.
I looked at the bartender who looked back at me. “Alright I can’t lose that much business for one annoying customer. I’ll drop the charges.”
This is my typical day in the Ol’ West.