I’m Kind of Back… Sort of

I want to start writing again. More consistently now that I’ve graduated college. The problem is that I feel like I’ve neglected this blog for so long that there isn’t a way to save it. I also don’t understand this new block paragraph system, so my first few stories might look pretty strange. There is also the problem that because I’ve been away for so long, I don’t have a consistent posting schedule. So I hope that everyone will bare with me as I try and figure out how to get this blog going again.

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Break Up

Rubbing my eyes, I couldn’t keep them from watering. “What’s wrong with me?”, I said to myself. Looking up, I saw myself in the bathroom mirror. My hazel eyes surrounded by bloodshot red. I couldn’t stop myself from crying. Grabbing the the counter-top that housed the sink, I could feel my legs giving in beneath me. I felt disgusted with myself.

“I just don’t understand why this had to happen. Why couldn’t I have stopped her!?” My girlfriend, well ex girlfriend, left me for someone else.

Apparently someone that she met on a business trip. It hurts, a lot. Am I just not good enough for her? I realized that I need to just get passed this and that time heals all wounds. But, every time I close my eyes, I see her. I remember all the times that we shared, the intimate sex that we had. How she could sing along with every song in Moana. The more I thought about it, the more my stomach twisted into knots. I felt like I would throw up. I did.

I laid awake all night thinking about what I could’ve done to have prevented her from leaving me. I made so many mistakes. Maybe if I had paid more attention to her and listened to her more she would still be with me. Or maybe, if I wouldn’t have argued with her about stupid stuff, or maybe if I had let her get that puppy, even though we lived in an apartment that didn’t allow pets. Maybe if I was more daring than she would have stayed. Maybe, just maybe if I had a better paying job then she wouldn’t have left me to be all alone. All these thoughts and regrets captured my mind in a vortex. An inescapable black hole that I just couldn’t escape from. I needed someone to save me from myself. I needed something to grab, to hold on to, just to get some stable ground. My world had been turned upside down and I couldn’t move forward.

*ring*

My cell phone was ringing on my kitchen table, but I didn’t feel like answering it. I let it go to voicemail.

*ring*

Frustrated I grabbed my phone and answered. “Hello?!” I said.

“David, are you going to come into work today or are you sick? You haven’t called in, so I was just checking up on you.” It was my coworker, Randall. Work had seemed so unimportant to me after all the events that had occurred.

“Sorry, a lot has been happening today, so I won’t be in.” “Well okay then. But if you need anything, just call.” “Don’t worry, I will.” I promptly called into work. And then decided to go outside.

The call had disrupted my dark train of thought. I decided that I needed to go out and find something to continue to keep my mind derailed from my ongoing depression. I hopped into my car and started driving. The mall was my first stop. I hadn’t eaten anything in at least 24 hours, so stopping by the food court was a must. Chinese is the best comfort food, so of course I had to choose that. Finishing my Chinese fast food led me to proceed further into the wonders of the modern day luxury that is having so many stores in such a small place (excluding the internet, of course). Walking the many long walkways through a seemingly endless sea of stores and merchandise. I walked by a clothing store, but not just any clothing store. It was the store that my ex girlfriend used to force me to go into. I instinctively reached out my hand to grab hers. And then all of the memories I was trying to block out came rushing back to me. I quickly pulled myself back together and walked away. I wasn’t about to break down in front of the sea of people around me. Nothing sounded like a good shop to go to anymore. I didn’t want to do anything anymore. All I wanted to do was go home and cry myself to sleep. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I wasn’t going to fall asleep despite being incredibly tired. I didn’t sleep last night and the fatigue was quickly entangling me. Instead of going home, my next stop was going to be a coffee shop not far from my apartment that I had rarely ever gone to. It gave off a hipster vibe that had never really appealed to me. I got back into my car and left the mall to visit the ‘hipster’ coffee shop.

As I walked in, I noticed the decor filled with modern art pieces and thrift shop looking furniture. The air was filled with the aroma of coffee. Behind the counter, the barista was busy making coffee for some of the customers. I walked up to the barista and ordered a hazelnut cappuccino. She looked at me and said, “You want that with a shot of espresso?”

“No thank you.” I replied.

“Well I’m going to anyway. You look really tired.” She said. “Actually I’m going to give you two.”

I decided not to try and argue with her and instead just let her do whatever she wanted to do. Besides, she’s the barista, she’d know way more about coffee than me.

i walked over and sat in the nearest hipster chair. The chair was comfortable and welcoming. It made me feel like I was at home. Everything about the coffee shop seemed welcoming. It made wonder why I had avoided this place. “Hazelnut Cappuccino!” I heard the barista say. It woke me up from a trance. I was so tired that I couldn’t really risk sitting still for too long or else I might just fall asleep. The barista smiled as I walked up and took cappuccino. She seemed incredibly nice and the cappuccino was amazing, so a nice tip was definitely in order. The scenery was lively and momentarily led me to become blissfully unaware of all of my troubles. After enjoying my cappuccino, it seemed like a good idea to get home before I started getting tired again.

Getting back to my apartment brought back some of the pain of the break up. However, I realized that I was going to have to face this heartache head on and not let it consume me. My ex was no longer apart of my life, and therefore I should start a new adventure, meet new people, and try new things. Who knows where life could take me, but all I know is that break ups are the end of one adventure and the start of a new one. I just need to keep my head up. And then I promptly fell asleep.

The next day, I awoke with optimism. My work days had always been so dreary. Doing the same thing every day gets old quick, but with this newfound optimism, I felt that I could take on anything! I’m not sure what or where my new adventure will take me, I’m not sure if I’m gonna stay working for this company. All that I know is that the break up has helped me realize that I’m done with one and adventure and that I’m onto a new one!

The Death of the Internet

You don’t really notice how much you need something until it’s gone. After the internet crash of 2060, the world plunged into chaos. Everything such as work, currency, buying food,  etc. was done online. I took for granted what I had my whole life. And now we are expected to relearn everything, such as farming. Most of the old timers remember how everything worked before SMART took over every aspect of life.

SMART was the organization that made all smart devices. The group was telling everyone that they were working for a better and brighter tomorrow… A tomorrow that will never come. SMART lobbied for countries all around the globe to give them administration access, meaning that they could control all aspects of the internet. At first, countries such as China and the United States resisted, but with enough persuasion, and enough blackmail, the government leaders started giving in. The internet, which was already mostly under the control of SMART before lobbying for complete access occurred, collapsed because of a major oversight by SMART and legislators.

There was a growing number of radical futurists that saw the internet as humanities worst blight. These futurists were viewed by the overall public as nothing more than pests and mostly were swept under the rug and lost by mainstream media. Many futurists only met in person and created secret societies to figure out how to get rid of the internet blight that had taken over the world. Members of the futurist secret societies ranged from people that didn’t know how to use the internet to hackers and technicians.

Not all of the futurist secret societies agreed with the idea of completely taking down the internet. They just wanted to set it back to what it was before SMART. However, the more radical sets launched an invasion of server rooms all around the world, taking down the internet for the majority of the world virtually overnight. Kids were forced to go to schools with human teachers instead of computers. Farmers were forced to  drive their tractors instead of having SMART systems plow for them. Manual labor had been forced back upon the world, much to many peoples disapproval. Companies had to reset how they conducted business. The world essentially went back to a time forgotten by many. A simpler time.

And here I am, having to actually go to a classroom and learn from a human teacher for the first time in my life. I’m in college, and sitting in a room with others feels barbaric to me. Oh well, maybe the media is correct. Maybe, this is all just a plan by the government to take over the internet and take away my freedoms. All that I know for sure is that SMART is the internet, and they made life better.  The media says that the futurists work for the government, and apparently anti-government protests have started to pop up around the world. They say things like, ‘The government shouldn’t be involved in the private sector.’ and ‘This is tyranny’ and ‘The government is a bunch of Nazis’.  Maybe the government will listen to the people and stop the futurists. Or maybe, just maybe, the media controls us…

 

Oh no. They’re here.

Late Nights Thoughts

We are told stories of great leaders that embark on glorious quests to achieve feats that no normal person could ever achieve. We are told to strive to be like those glorious leaders. Can one just happen upon the strength and will to lead and achieve incredible feats ? Perhaps.

The world is an ever changing place with ever changing problems followed by ever changing solutions. The game of life is a random one with infinite possibilities around each and every corner. Whether or not you want to believe it, you are the hero in the saga of life. You are the main character in the game of life and it is the goal of everyone to be the best character that they can be.

The Trail of Life

Life is a strange and awkward trail that takes its hikers on a journey of a lifetime. This journey can be made more difficult or easier depending on the decisions the hiker makes, however the trail is never easy. Life is in fact the longest and hardest trail that a hiker will ever take.  When a hiker starts their hike along the path , they can choose to make their own path or follow a path already laid in front of them. This brand new path might end up not going anywhere, it might end up leading to another already beaten path, or it might become its own brand new path for others to follow.

The trail is a difficult one where hikers must be able to overcome obstacles such as boulders, rivers, mountains, etc. Life is exhausting and is not easily traversed. Many hikers become confused on the trail and don’t know where they are at, however as long as they continue on their path they will find out where they are going eventually. The secret to the trail called Life is to just put one foot in front of the other and you will find your way. Just keep going,

The God-Emperor

I never quite understood why the Emperor of Earth was often revered as a god. People don’t refer to the Premier of Mars or the President of the Sky Cities of Venus in the same way. Is it because he’s so old that they think of him in such a way, or is it because the Emperor is actually a god.

My parents always told me not to think about it too much and to just accept it as the way things were. They tend to say things like, “What’s the harm in believing in something that may or may not be true?” and “Don’t worry if it’s true or not.” These things anger me because I can’t just blindly believe in something. I need proof! I have heard of people who say that the “God Emperor” isn’t actually a god and went missing shortly after. The media says that this is just the Emperor showing us his power and that we shouldn’t challenge him. However, rumors say that people in black clothing have been sighted in the area around the times that these people have gone missing.

The people of Earth have chosen to blindly follow a man who prefers to define himself as a god because of the fear that he will smite them. I think he is just an egotistical fool, for if he were a god then why would he need guards to protect him. It was this sort of thinking that after talking to my teacher about these things, I was met by two men covered from head to toe in black clothing. They handcuffed me and through me in the back of a black van. It was dark in there and so I couldn’t see what was around me, all I knew was that the vehicle moved for a while and then stopped moving and I could hear the doors of the van slam. I was scared, all I could think about was, “Am I going to die?”. I was only seventeen years old. Way too young for someone to be executed for questioning the leader of the government’s power.

The doors to the van were opened and the men in black who had thrown me into the black van had taken off the masks they had worn while kidnapping me. The one on the right had pale white skin while the other had a caramel skin tone. They pulled me out of the van and led me into a large abandoned warehouse building. Inside were offices and cubicles with people filling every single one of them and everyone seemed very busy. I was led down one of the aisles between cubicles and into an office without windows. I was sat down in a metal chair still handcuffed while a new man sat behind a large desk and the two men that brought me there  stood,their hands behind their backs, behind me.

“We heard that you were questioning the Emperor being a god. What ma-”

“Look I’m sorry! I didn’t know I would get arre-”

“DON’T INTERRUPT ME!” yelled the man behind the desk. “I am the one in control here not you! Now I will resume what I was saying. What made you start asking these very dangerous questions?”

“If you’re wondering why I started thinking this way, it doesn’t have to do with anyone else. I only started to question the Emperors powers because of people like you taking people away.”

“Oh, you think we are the Emperors secret police who just kidnap people and take them to an unknown facility so that they don’t spread any propaganda. Is that what you think we are?”

I stared at him perplexed, “Isn’t that what you are? The Emperors secret police?”

“Ha! We would never follow that crazy dictator!”

“Then why would kidnap me and so many other people who spoke out against the Emperor?!”

“Because we are trying to start a revolution. One so big that we can take down even a god. ”

“So is the Emperor a god with mighty powers?”, I asked.

“Oh, he definitely has powers but he is no god.”

I gasped in disbelief, “If he has powers doesn’t that mean that he is a god?”

“No, I’ve seen him bleed more than once, and no god I’ve ever heard of has ever bled. ”

“Why do you want to start a revolution?”

” Because we can’t have something with magical powers ruling over us common people.We need to rise up and take back our planet for ourselves. Are you in?” The man behind the desk leaned forward.

I pondered if this was something I could get behind for a few seconds and then responded with, “Sure! I will join the cause against the God-Emperor of Earth. People should be able to think however they want without fear of judgement from the Emperor.”

“The man behind the desk grinned, “Good! Take off his handcuffs.” My handcuffs were taken off and he held out his hand, “Glad you made the right choice.”

I shook his hand knowing that I needed to get away from this place as quick as possible, “Glad to be apart of the revolution.”

Thus began my training for the impending revolution that I didn’t actually want to be apart of. For I wasn’t sure who was worse, the revolutionaries or the God-Emperor of Earth.

 

Questions to Mankind

When I think of how the world is and how it works, it disgusts me. People only look out for themselves and only help others when it is convenient for them. Employees brown nose their bosses in order to try to get a leg up on their coworkers for a position or a raise. The tasks that they perform are meaningless. Day in and day out they do the same mind-numbing tasks. It begs the question, “What if they treated each other as well as they treat the dollar?” Could we truly fix the problems that the world has just by treating each other better? If instead of stepping on each other, we picked each other up would we be able to create new technologies not yet known to man? Or is it that because we step on each other that we find such technologies? It is known that the Cold War is what pushed Man to reach the Moon. Is it that only by the fear of others that we are able to progress as a society? If we were able to get rid of prejudice and war would we be able to work together and create a better world, or would we just stay stagnant with only a handful of advancements to push us further along? Should we have jobs where we have time constraints, or is it that by having these time constraints that we create these advancements? Mankind has molded the Earth with its hands, but never created it. If something didn’t create another, then can it truly destroy it? Therefore humanity could only ever destroy itself. Mankind is a chooser or its own destiny. Will it fix its problems or will it collapse on itself?